Shagaholics Anonymous
by MagicaeArtiumLaudator
Summary: Wracked with guilt and the love he lost because of his addiction, Dave finally gets the psychological help he needs. But will it be enough for his family to take him back into their lives? Rated T for sexual references. Semi canon-friendly. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The basic idea behind this fic is that I don't believe that Dave is all bad. I think he has a genuine psychological problem and that his sex addiction is not something he enjoys, but that he can't stop. I think he does genuinely still love Gill and I think he feels really guilty. So he enlists the help of a therapist, and we'll see what happens! Please read and review because I'll love you forever, and also for anyone reading Without Her I am going to update it soon, but Get Pissed, Shag Someone might be a little while because I still don't know where I'm going with it! And I'm more excited about this one right now. L x**

"Does the Assistant Chief Con know you're homeless and you've had your car repossessed? Not hard up are you?"

Dave Murray glared back at his ex-wife as she looked him, calmly and calculatingly, in the eye. He didn't reply. Yes, despite being a Chief Superintendant, he was hard up, but there was no way he was going to tell her that. Nor was he going to tell her why; not yet. The moment would come. He stomped through the door she was holding pointedly open and took up his position in front of the screens, very aware of her presence as she stood next to him. Folding his arms, he looked at the furthest screen in the opposite direction. He was determined not to think about anything other than this interview. It was too important to miss a single word.

The video room was silent as they all watched Janet start the interview. The first challenge arose almost at once when Geoff interrupted Janet telling him that the interview was being recorded to say, "You do know… That I didn't wanna hurt you, don't you?"

"Yeah, that's why you stuck a knife in her spleen," Gill murmured. Dave ignored her. She couldn't resist commenting through interviews, it was something she'd always done… One of the things he used to find endearing about her. _Still_ found endearing.

Dave watched with some apprehension as Geoff continued to change the subject. It seemed that he honestly thought that Janet should feel privileged; as if he'd done her a favour. Next to him, he heard Gill let out an impatient hiss. He glanced at her. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, her expression annoyed.

"Finally," she muttered, as Geoff began to talk about Veronica. Dave, again, ignored her, listening closely.

"It were an accident!" Geoff exclaimed, gesticulating emphatically. "We were fightin'! Y'know, we were scrappin'. I w- I was sittin' on her, on her chest and… Well, she said she couldn't breathe, but I didn't believe her-"

"Did you not see her lips going blue? Might have been a clue." Gill chipped in sarcastically beside Dave. He sighed and looked at her again, exasperated because he'd missed Geoff's next words. Gill rarely missed anything, but when she did nobody (including him) dared to mention it. If, however, he missed a trick, Gill would immediately pounce on it and use it to demean him. Not that he blamed her. Maybe she thought if she could destroy his self-confidence it would be some compensation for him sleeping around behind her back.

With a huge effort, Dave dragged himself back to the present and focused on the interview. Geoff was asking Janet about her family and her love life; Dave didn't feel very comfortable with this – it was essential that Janet stayed in control and at the moment she was very much in danger of the ball being in Geoff's court, so to speak. He breathed an internal sigh of relief as Janet managed to persuade Geoff to move on.

"Leaving aside Veronica, and the four other women whose deaths you were convicted of, what other things do you want to talk to me about, Geoff?" Janet was saying calmly. Dave glanced to his left. Gill was looking pleased.

"There were twelve others," Geoff replied, as casually as if he were talking about attendees at party, "actually – there were fifteen."

Dave's blood ran cold. He stared at the screen, aghast. How the hell had this man managed to walk free for all these years? Why hadn't they been onto him before?

"Jesus," he breathed. Next to him, Gill's expression was the same attentive one she had worn throughout the interview. But he felt her, almost imperceptibly, shift uncomfortably beside him. After all these years, he could still read her like an open book. He wasn't sure whether she was aware of it, but the movement had brought her slightly closer to him. Their equally pristine jacket sleeves were almost touching.

"Okay," Janet was saying, with impressive calmness, "Let's get back to Veronica, the first time after Veronica, is that something that you'd like to talk to me about?"

"Yeah, we can do." Geoff answered. Dave narrowed his eyes and squinted at the screen, trying to make out his facial expression.

"Thing is," he went on, "I always thought you had a bit of a fling with that sergeant you introduced me to."

It took Dave a moment to realise what Geoff was on about, but Gill's sharp intake of breath told him that Geoff must be talking about her own sergeant, Andy.

"I need you to stay focused Geoff, on yourself, not on me." Janet was beginning to look a bit angry now and the atmosphere in the video room was tense.

Geoff ignored her.

"I thought it were odd," he went on, looking at her almost challengingly, waiting to see if she would rise to it, "the way he followed you into that pub and stared at you. And behaved so nasty to me, like he was jealous!"

"Bastard" Gill muttered, and this time Dave nodded in agreement. Geoff was laughing, looking at Mitch as if sharing a joke with him. Mitch looked bewildered.

"Geoff…"Janet was clearly struggling to retain her composure now. Dave had half a mind to get them to terminate it before it escalated. He turned to Gill, wanting to ask her opinion, but she shushed him, still staring avidly at the screen.

"What was his name? Andy?"

"We're not talking about any of my colleagues, Geoff, or me-"

"Andy Roper!" Geoff crowed triumphantly, and Dave swore inwardly. "You made him apologise to me! He was so pushy, d'you remember?"

"Yeah, well, Andy had his suspicions about you all along and as it's turned out he was right to, wasn't he."

Dave glanced at Gill again. No response.

"You've gone red," Geoff was saying, looking like the cat who'd got the cream.

"Geoff."

"Were you?" He was pushing her and Dave didn't like it. He'd known something like this would happen. He began to feel a bit angry with Gill for not letting him stop it when he'd wanted to. "Having a fling with him?"

"No!" Geoff continued, in mock horror.

Finally, Janet snapped. Gill sprang straight into action.

"Go and knock on the door," she instructed Lee, pointing at the screen.

As Janet terminated the interview and stood to leave, Dave looked crossly at Gill.

"Every eventuality," he practically growled, "except the one where your constable's been at it with your sergeant!"

She merely gave him a "don't you start" look before hurrying out of the room after Lee. Dave immediately began to feel a bit guilty. Alone in the video room, he groaned and put his head in his hands. What had got to him was not simply the fact that Janet and Andy were carrying on; he knew that he could hardly talk when it came to that. It was more jealousy that they had been carrying on. For the reason that Dave was broke was not because he had been spending all his money on gadgets and drinking and women like he was sure Gill imagined he had been. It was because he had been seeing a psychologist, one of the best, about his sex addiction.

When Dave had got Emma pregnant, he had decided to be with her after Gill kicked him out because he knew it was too late for him to attempt to change, and Emma was young and vulnerable. He felt guilty, like he had to look after her. He continued to sleep around, this time behind Emma's back, but he told himself he had an excuse – it was because he was doing the decent thing, living with her to help her raise the child, but he was unhappy and if the odd one night stand made life a bit more bearable then he couldn't be blamed for it. And yet, throughout all of this, he had tortured himself for hours over _why _he had been at it behind Gill's back. He still loved her. She was everything he'd ever wanted in a woman. She'd been absolutely fantastic in bed, better than anyone else he'd slept with. She'd given him a wonderful son and a happy life. The two of them were so compatible it was almost breathtaking. So why the hell had he been unfaithful to her? He hadn't had any feelings for the other women, he hadn't even enjoyed the sex all that much, but it was a compulsion. He and his therapist had talked for hours about obsessive personalities and how they could manifest themselves in all kinds of things, about how once something has been going on for a while you become desensitised to the wrongness of what you're doing and it begins to feel like it's okay.

In addition to the therapist, Dave had been attending the group sessions held by the chatline Shagaholics Anonymous. He'd first heard about it during the investigation which had led them to Geoff Hastings, but at the time he hadn't thought too much about it. However, after Emma had broken up with him, he'd realised that he wasn't actually very upset, because he'd never loved her. He still loved Gill. He was now nearing his fiftieth birthday and he wanted to spend his middle and old age with her, but if that was going to happen he needed to convince her that he'd changed – and he needed to actually change. The dream, for him, was to be back with Gill and Sammy. Of course he loved his other son, but the last he heard there was now a stepdad on the scene, so he and Emma had agreed that it would be best that the child (who was only four years old) grow up looking on her new fiancé as his dad. And so, the therapy had been going really well, but it had involved going cold turkey when it came to sex, so he often found himself getting jealous of couples. It was getting easier though. He was beginning to find things he could do instead, like playing squash with some of his colleagues from work and going to the cinema or the theatre in the evenings, instead of to a bar. In fact, Dave felt as if he'd almost cracked it. The time to tell Gill was nearing. He felt nervous at the very thought, but excited too.

Now wasn't the time though. Not in the middle of this Geoff Hastings thing. Deciding to go and see how Janet was doing, he left the interview room and headed along the corridor and through the door that would take him to the stairwell, arriving just in time to hear Janet say "me and Aide have split up." Shocked, he paused at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at Janet and Gill, who liked as stunned as he felt. Back when they'd still all been happy families, Gill and Dave used to see a lot of Janet and Aide. He still had vivid memories of sitting in the back garden of the house he and Gill had had built together, Sammy and Elise playing hide and seek in the bushes and an infant Taisie asleep in a Moses basket next to Janet. It had been rare for him and Gill to have a joint day off and they'd always made the most of it when they did, going on daytrips or seeing friends or relatives.

As the two women continued to talk about it, in low voices so that he struggled to hear what they were saying, Dave focused his attention upon his ex-wife's face. She looked particularly attractive that day, he thought. Perhaps because he hadn't seen her in a little while? Or had she made an effort, even subconsciously, because she knew she'd be seeing him? _Don't be a fool, _he told himself. The day Gill made an effort for him now would be the day pigs learnt to fly. He waited until Gill had gone upstairs, leaving Janet standing looking a bit lost. Dave walked up to her, and when she saw him approaching she smiled forcedly, but her expression was wary.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, taking in her slightly smudged mascara and shaky hands.

"Fine," she replied, nodding. "I'm just having a bit of a break. I will go back in."

"Thank you," Dave replied, sincerely. "I know how hard it must be for you. You'll let me know if there's anything I can do?"

"Yeah, thanks," said Janet, looking a bit surprised.

Patting her on the arm, Dave continued his way upstairs. At the top, he glanced back to see Janet looking confused. She'd obviously been expecting him to nag at her or something. Did none of the people he used to be so fond of see him as a person anymore, just a shagbandit? He really couldn't blame them but it wasn't a very nice thought. Especially given how hard he'd been working to change. It wasn't easy, particularly doing it on your own with nobody to encourage or support you except the people who were paid to.

_Still, _he thought with a small smile, _they'll know soon enough. And then maybe, finally, I'll be able to make it up to Gill. And Sammy. Maybe I'll finally get back to where I belong._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The other day I realised I do still ship Gill and Dave, so I decided to update this! It's just a little chapter; a bit more character building for Dave; a scene from S02E06 from his POV. If anyone is even still reading this, a quick summary of what's happened so far as that Dave is now tee total when it comes to sex and doing very well with his therapist, and he wants to break the good news to Gill and see what she makes of it. Enjoy, please review and let me know if it's okay and if there's anything anyone particularly wants to happen! :) One week today until series 3! L x**

The days dragged on as the Geoff Hastings investigation finally began to draw to a close. The diaries were found, Geoff was charged, Janet was able to get back to living her life, new cases were assigned to Gill's syndicate and Dave and the review team were kept busy in other stations. While all the Geoff stuff was happening, Dave felt he could not pester Gill to talk to him, not when she was under so much pressure. Afterwards, he found himself unable to think of an excuse to go and see her. Although it was no more than a couple of weeks since he had first made the decision to tell her, it felt like months as he waited impatiently for the perfect opportunity. And, finally, it arose.

Dave arrived in his office one afternoon at the end of lunch, as usual, and checked his emails, as usual. Unusually, though, he had an email from the Chief Con. He skim-read it, and as he did so a smile broke out onto his face, spreading right to his eyes. Most of it was about a case that the review team had recently dealt with, but right at the end there was a small paragraph expressing approval and admiration for the way Gill's syndicate (and Janet in particular) had dealt with Geoff Hastings, as well as a suggestion that commendations might be in order. Mr Rutterford had requested that Dave pass on his words en route to the review team's next job, the drive to which would take him through Oldham, practically right past the police station.

He didn't need telling twice.

"I'm just popping down to Oldham," he called to his secretary as he practically ran past her, "won't be long!" Dave didn't even look back to see her confused stare as he barrelled downstairs and out into the car park. He could wait until he was on his way over to syndicate five tomorrow, or he could go now, seeing as his team didn't have much to do that afternoon until they were needed the next day. Now was a much more appealing option. However, he hadn't got very far before he ran into another surprise – Ian Fielding, head of MIT, who had been making his way innocently up the stairs and had almost been forced to flatten himself against the wall as Dave hurried past.

"Dave!" he called, "have you got a sec?"

"Ian," Dave greeted him, turning round and walking back up towards him, with a quick thought as to what excuse he could give for his haste. "Sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush, I've got to get to Oldham and back before a meet-"

"Oh, that's convenient," Ian interrupted him, looking pleased, "I was going to pop over myself later but if you've got time would you mind passing on a message to Gill for me?"

Dave's ears pricked up. "Of course," he replied, trying to keep his expression neutral.

"It's about Janet Scott; I know the Mr Rutterford already plans to comment the team as a whole, but I think she deserves something extra. I'm putting her forward for a Chief Constable's Commendation."

"I quite agree," he smiled, "I'll tell Gill."

"Thanks."

Dave hastily bade Ian farewell and continued on his mission, excited at the prospect of delivering such good news. Within twenty minutes, he was hurrying up the stairs towards Gill's office.

Before he walked into the open plan area of it, he took a moment to collect himself. He straightened his tie, ran a hand through his hair, took a deep breath. This was very important. Of course, he was going to deliver the news he'd been asked to first and foremost – but hopefully it would put her in a sufficiently good mood to agree to go to dinner with him. If he could get her as far as dinner, buy her a couple of glasses of wine (not enough to make her drunk, but enough to mellow her a little) he might be able to say all the things he wanted to with her actually listening. And then, at least, he would know that he'd done all he could. It would be up to her.

Heart pounding with nervous excitement, Dave made his way steadily through the office, glancing at her through the windows of Gill's office as he went. She was sitting at her desk, glasses on, typing away. She was wearing a fitted black shirt that showed off her slim waist, her expression was concentrated and her nails were as impeccable as always. He still remembered her touching them up every morning before she left, allowing them to dry while she sipped coffee and watched the news. She always got up plenty early enough to be able to get ready for work leisurely.

Cool as a cucumber, the picture of professionalism (or so he hoped), Dave knocked on her door, careful not to display any of the butterflies he was feeling. She glanced at him, shock momentarily flitting across her face as she took in who was there. He didn't give her a chance to say anything, even though she was opening her mouth as he spoke.

"Can I come in?"

"I'm not here, I'm in a meeting with POLSA." She said, hands still poised over the keyboard, shaking her head slightly and checking her watch pointedly. Dave chose to ignore this. Gill was never late for meetings; if she was in her office that meant she had a couple of minutes to spare.

He walked in and sat down, despite the fact that she'd gone back to her typing. He'd been sent here by the Chief Con, after all, and he had to deliver the message he'd been told to. As he sat, he said, "I've been asked to pass on some very complimentary words from the Chief Con…"

She glanced up at him briefly, and he could tell he'd got her attention. He smiled slightly.

"…As regards the outcome of the Geoff Hastings interviews."

Gill looked at him again, just long enough to say, "none of them are here, they're all interviewing."

"Well that's alright," he continued, unable to take his eyes off her despite the fact she was still pretending to be more interested in her computer. "They should hear it from you anyway, it's your team."

No reply.

"There are gonna be commendations," he said, eyebrows raised as he waited for her reaction. Sure enough, she stopped her typing and stared at him for a moment before nodding. "They deserve it," she state matter-of-factly, looking back at her computer again. "Janet does."

"And…" Dave said, with the air of one about to unveil a present of some sort, "I've just seen Ian Fielding and he's putting her name forward for a Chief Constable's Commendation."

Gill looked straight into his eyes as if checking he was telling the truth, her own telling him what a pleasant surprise it was. She nodded again, smiling slightly. "Wow," she said softly.

Dave watched her, trying not to smile too much himself at the sight of her. There were no words to express how much it meant to him that something he'd said had just made her smile. She was still so beautiful, even though she too was nearing fifty. The sight of her smile, the sound of her voice – particularly when it was soft like that – still made him melt.

"Yep," he agreed, "you'll be commended as well, of course." He peered at her slightly, and he was not in the least surprised that this information didn't trigger the same reaction as Janet's commendation had. Gill had always thrived off nurturing and developing others; although she was ambitious, any pride she felt in herself, she always kept to herself. She'd never been arrogant.

"I know how instrumental you were," Dave continued, still watching her closely for a reaction. He couldn't help his own voice from softening slightly as he spoke, unable to keep the hint of pride and fondness out of it, "in persuading her and supporting her."

Gill pursed her lips slightly as she finished typing. Dave could tell she was struggling with his complimenting her. He held his breath as he waited to see what she would say.

"I really am supposed to be somewhere else," she said firmly, in a sort of would-be apologetic way, taking her glasses off.

"Sure," he replied, disappointed. She was looking down, fiddling with her glasses. "Er… Well, congratulations, anyway."

"Thank you." She looked up, meeting his gaze only for a second before looking back down, resuming her fiddling, and for a moment she looked just like the pretty young woman he'd met in training who'd blushed as he told her she looked nice when he picked her up for their first date. The memory was quite painful. Dave made to get up, then changed his mind. He had to ask her. It was now or never.

He leaned towards her a bit, breaking the professionalism, his body language hinting that he was about to say something personal. He breathed in, trying to calm himself. He could feel his heart thudding, and he was sure Gill must be able to hear it too. Dave licked his dry lips and blinked slowly, collecting his thoughts.

"You wouldn't…" her eyes met his; she was waiting patiently, allowing him to say what he wanted to say, "…Like to go for a meal? Or… Or a drink. And a chat. Sometime."

Her expression had turned to disbelief. Dave felt his heart sink. That look in her eyes was never good news.

"Dave… You've had your car repossessed, you're living with your mother, everyone in MIT knows you rely on those beneath you to make you look good in the job, and you're a shagbandit. It's just not attractive, is it?"

It wasn't a jibe, it wasn't said cruelly, Gill wasn't looking at him as if challenging him – it was simply a fact, set out how it was. To Gill, that was the truth about him. It would have been so much easier to handle if she'd said it in a spiteful sort of way, merely trying to get at him, but she hadn't – she'd really meant it. She genuinely believed all of those things. And it was that, not the words themselves, but the tone in which they were said, that hurt Dave so much in that moment.

He opened his mouth and closed it again, devastated. Gill merely put her glasses in their case, collected together some papers and her handbag and left, leaving Dave to show himself out. _Shit._


End file.
